today coworker is taken pictures of, hm, ME!!!!!

did not want to because of feel litle low but surpise are ok "pics"

I am thinking so!





i like my hair!





2007 decided going to be Good!


how can not with this hair?

truth is,

not feel so "hot"

truth is,

am "weakling"

truth is a 10 year old girl and her mom subletted my trailer this sumer
she was born with her heart going other direction from most people and all internal organs on oposite side, "inoperable."
she looked normal. had blonde hair so THICK her mom had to change my showerhead. she was very down to earth compared to her mom. they came from florida for a skateboard camp for kids with birth defects and I almost got kicked out of the park for it.

i realy could relate to that little girl

is almost CHIS MAS TIME!!!!!!!!!


=
Very Exciting






1. birthday of Baby That Give People Advice (Baby, Stroll Over Here! I Am Ready For the Magic Baby Advice!)



2. Pretend Is Snowing (I am not 100% ssure why to do this, but seem fun ok!),


3. Presents from Man You Can Not See (Do NOT Like! VERY Frustrating!! From what I heara Mr. Santa Man my type too, and I avaibable. "WHATEVER"!)


4. CANDY of Wait Until Morning (see #3, 'FUCK THAT'!!!!)


5. "Silent Nigth" is the song ok. And is true, ALWAYS a SILENT NIGHT on Christmas Night. Even with no snow in dumb old beach of Orange County, USA, is a Silent Night! Not sure why is World so serious. Wasnt Jesus kind of party guy. "Whatever" (see #3)




6. Come to think, even so exciting, so far am only giving CHRISTMAS GRADE OF "B". Jesus needing beter atendance record. He is briliant but lazy

coweorker LETITICIA =24. she studying to be a LPN, so knowing Medical Terminology and Coding very good! Her boyfriend ELI in Marine Core in IRAQ. He is 22. She showing us pictures with airplane headphones on and lying on a weird cot. She say he is Elsaldoran but me he looking like he from India. She talking about him LALL THE TIME and text mesage throughout day when eli not ON A MISSION. She calling hersself a "grandma"" because she dont go to movies, just WAITing FOR ELI TO COME HOME.

I askt how was her weekend was & she say they talk on compputer yesterday 3 hours, "sick horny bastard" she cal lhim. I am liking! Thinking, very good!

Then she ask me for a box size of "Baby Wipes container." I am looking for box under my desk etc. I say, hm, why Baby Wipes container?


= sending Eli Baby Wips?

she look like Shirley Temple getting caught of something



say he doesn't like to use toilet paper when he goes to the restroom

its too rough



"STRIKE THE RECORD"+++
!!!!!not just likeing ==I AM LOVING!!!!!!!!!you got me RIGHT HERE

Litle girl next trailer to me is 10. name BETANY



VERY SMART

(has braces = must be SMART! )



VERY BOSSY OF BROTHER JONATHAN who is 8. She always upset with him not doing things right. She always "screetching" and upset about EVERYTHING. Her Father saying "borderline personality" (????) and maybe needing Medications. I think Father is a little wierd. Weird mustache i am not liking! He putting her in Acting Class becaus of overactive imagination for now though and see how it goes.


When am hearing betany with Jonathan I CAN UNDERSTAND her. We the same, like we responsible for something not knoing what & cannot smile TIL everything is PERFECT.




Betany: Jonathan fake vomit pile on your pilow actualy mean = try to makea you SMILE!!!!













(betany he loving you so much)

CRASHHing from "Greatness wednesday"


haha, joke is on me =

know what, figured out



"strange enough"",



= AM GREAT!q!!!!!!





DOingg MY BEST ALL THE TIME in DARKNES and as HUMAN PERSON OF IMPERFECT!!!





TRIED TO BE SMART!!!




AM NOT SMART!!!




am, GRAET!

working on poem of last four months.

will come soon. and will not be perfect!!!!!!

religouns email of yestrday say if i give chain to 7 people "Today at 8:33 p.m. Somebody will address you and tell you something You have been waiting to hear."

Mesage i prayfor, did not come.

but BUS CRASHLAST NIGHT at 8"35 p.m!

MY BUS!!!!


is Gods msesage?


is gods mesage,,



CRASH

Going back to Poetry Class next Sesion at Conmunity Center. Working on one now, asking many for comets on how to improve.

Ok "here goes"




life suck
but is a beautiful morning:
how does that work?

now under racecar, fixing,
see sky from angle
I did not before

palm trees theyt say come from Australia
seem starting to get used to this place,
almost to fit in

my trailer park is full of old people,
they drink & play a card game i dont understand in a secret room by the Laundry in the afternoons
they are trying to have a good time
I like that part of them

there, its the laundry smell,
someone is doing.
how can it be that
god didnt think of all the best smells,
peeople did some too?

but is true!

life suck
but is beautiful morning

i pray for some morning, for him to know
that if he had ful story
he wouldnt feel bad
he been hurt before and somehow come through
clean
i never evereverever want to mess with that

i pray some morning he will know

nothing like that Ever happen to me before



my eyes were Too Young

to spot the Trick being played


WITH poor schizophrenic
poet boy Gods made
propose of marriage to me
on sumer vacation, far from racer K

knowing

how much I wanted to talk to them


did not believe i could just hang with Someone
thought I had to do Harder Unnatural things
for Gods who are not even nice to me


racer k sees good things and brings them out more he
wants your strength

so i am trying to be strong

the 4 days that poor sick child was here
was a surgery on me
took a week to recover
but now Eyes Transplant is complete
& can not look at Life the same



once racer k said i wasn't good enoough for him
later apologize like a flowerbud that open but stil
like a child
i wanted to get back at him
and made Greatest mistake of all,

on World Wide Web


should have waitedtil my eyes adjusted to the light

& it may be true, not good enough for racer k




but now it ring through all my silly lifetimes at once:


fuck not saying what is going on inside you for 3
months to someone you care for !


fuck mariage proposals from Gay Schizo Boy after 2
days of knowing!


FUCK THE GODDS!!!! in they cold stoney asssses!!!


fuck that!!!






racer k was
someone
i could relate to



one more twist of the wrench,
i pray
may be this race car wil be better than yesterday

COUNTING OF BLESING TIME OK


heavy heart but

myst say, LIFE BETTER NOW THAN OF ONE YEAR AGO!!!!!


# 1. MORE MOENY!!!!! = "HIGH FIVE ALL AROUND "!


Boss is Boss of Paramedics = Dream of use Race Skills to Become Paramedic and Save Lives, gets me through day!



#2. NOW, LIKe LORD,, can rest ON SUNDAY!!!!


\
#3 NEW DESK, BEST EVERRRRR = "solid LEGIT" as kids of today are SAYing! hold whole shed of notebooks & trailer still stand ok!



4. thanks of cola drinks and junk foods, which they can bring you back to LIFE.


5. new race COACH 2 p.m. SATURDAYS.


6. TRIPOD STAND NOW HOLD TRAILER IN PLACE beter SO DONT WOBLE SO MUCH!!!! Big deal around here!


7. SOLID FAMILY LIFE. father and mother and sister and brother, must say beter than EVER in geting along, they race too so understanding each other.

8. dogs still like me despite hrecent horible events

MUST TO STOP BEING soooo SADDD AND anxiety and START of BEING THANKFILLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!




LONG LIST OF THANKSFULLS COMING, STILL WORKING ON!!!!!

BIG PROBLEMS!!!!

HURT REAL BAD!!!

TAKESS EVERYTHING GOT TO KEEP DRIVING TO HOSTPITAL NO SHORTCUT ASIGHT

BEST BOOK EVERR in LAUNDRY ROOOM!!!!!


is "'WHERE TO FIND GOLD IN SOUTHERN CALIFNORNIA"!!!


is by JAMES KLEIN! Part time actor and FULL TIME GOLD FINDER!



Says:

Ask any old prospector where the best place to search for gold is and, more than likely, he will tell you, "Gold is where you find it." After you have been prospecting for a while, you will find that no truer words were ever spoken. You can find gold in many places in Southern California. This book will show you where and how, in addition to giving you leads on finding a lost treasure as well.

!!!!!


ALSO:

After several years of mining, I found a lost gold mine. A professional geologist and a licensed state of California assay laboratory have estimated that my mine contains SEVERAL MILLION DOLLARS IN GOLD AND SILVER.!!!!!!


(((emphasiS MINE!!!)



Book shows where gold IS in suburbs including NEWHALL, VLENCIA, SAN GABRIEL VALLY anfd San Juan Capistrano!



JAMES I GOT THE EQUINPEMTN YOU RECONMEND and ear to ground!!!

as is said on circuit you do not ask a teenager dvice about LIFE or a rookie racedriver how to getahead in line!!!!

ASKT OLDEST DRVIER in my TOWN, jOHN dOLLREICHS, possibly 60!, BEFORE HE eft for south carolina races worlds in sumer, for parting wordsof wizdom he said


I go with the flow


and then he went with flow to land of fassst aligators.


but what does thjs mean to "go with flow"????

veryunknown idea to m,e, is this another "metaphor"? i only know lava flow~


ACTALLY, COME TO THINK, after last months my advice is, donot to follow ANY advice! not even Greek Goodesss, even if she promises!

!!!IF IS ADVICE = DO NOT FOLLOW!!!!!

My coworkedr and I had BIG FIGHT. DOnt let her tel you not!

Lava goes how it flows, Canot MAKE a misteaks!

So, I f you makea mysteak, thank you VERY MUCH! Jusst remember, "WELL DONE" and PLENTY FAT!

GP, oldest and craftiest desert racer i have nown, also my ggrandmother, yesterdy morning left tuscon for wilder circuits.

oH GRAMA,

i love you before and after. thank you for teaching me to type and ply cards and be alone. thank you for Truth and Chaos of dustcloud behind your wheels of where ia m lost now. yor disgust for my stentimentals. these words not good enof but your legend wil not die on this circuit

new sfrom tucscon = GP ASTILL ALIVE!!!!!

(GP, oldest and tuffest desert racer that is known for miles, also MY GRNADMOTHER.) Had galblader removal opernation and then docors removed Ventirlator Machine saying "4 DAYS TO LIVE" withut machine.

HA!

Has happwened before. broke neck in racing crash years ago, doctors left her overnight for dead on metal table in Midas Nevada ER, next morning she is asking from metal table for her coffee.

later cured self of cancer when docx had pooped out with natural juices and layatril smugled in underwear from "TJ".

4 days to live. 6th day she stil kicking and says GET DAMN BRATS OUT of hospice halls!

Taking POetry Writing and Salsa Danse Classes at community center to mke friends and be les lonely ok!
Working on a"Metaphor" for poetry class (see below!) What do you thinkk,


In High School they flatened your metal heart
full of cola because of what an
"amazing sound".


your drink went into the sidewalk
for no future one
to taste,
or to wake up or refresh toward the end
of a medioccre workday.


then the sun made your red cokecan color go away
and turned it gold.
But that took months
and no one knew about it,
especialy
not
you.


Then, someone found you years later by the dumpsters at the Race Tracks.
They knew something was hurting their eyes
it was you
they said wel i don like those corporate sugardrinks
but that parts gone now
it is actualy the most beautiful thingg
i have seen for a longtime.

I will keep it in my racecar
the next few laps
and see what hapens, maybe
it will bring
good luck.!

ALSO":

Dp NOT teell me HOW TO LIVE!!!

DO not even insintuate me how to live! !!!

had it to here of THAT!!!

Unless YOU CAN DRIVE A CAR 300mph!

PROUD to say I was born October 8. John Lennon Oct 9 and Dale Jr, Oct. 10! John Lennon also welvome to make me defensive about Life Choices. but Until i hear othewise from borthday friends main thing is, my volcano alive befoeer and after your coments, does not need you tending, check your own!

"End of story, any questions"!

I got a very weird email today, from someone I donot know. Maybe it is some kindo f adveritisement. I am not sure for what. Maybe you wil have a clue>

Here itis:

From: “Sunny Tang”
Subject: question about DESERT
Date: Tue, 15 Aug 2006 20:42:12 -0700

Lavva,

I’m at the library, may have to buzz off quick. So be forewarned my man.

There’s a new situation in the desert. A trampoline people fly from.

In the daytime the cleavage abundant. At night I saw a stick figure in a moonbeam though which was even more rad if you want to know the truth.

No one there will tell you life’s like chess.

Once you’ve been it’s not that hard to find again. The background’s everything at once. But what’s in front’s real specific, if not too well-thought-out. Like...your dad’s signature. The smell of sun in his hair.

Forgive me, but you do see my point.

So I’m thinking tonight why don’t you let Mr. Cordova fend for himself? He knows how to make a drink for Christ sake. He knows how to take a bottle off a shelf. Let’s forget ourselves like a puddle in the light. Maybe still a constellation left for us to name. I want to show you where to lie to feel the train. So what do you say we step out tonight?

Your faithful lab partner in crime,
Sunny TANG, man
What is going on, I am needing to KNOW!!!

theyDonot call me canyonn cryer in race pamphlits for nothingA1!
you got to earn thatt!

not ashamed to say iam most "stenitmental bastard" you will find on circuit

but enuoughf ab out me.

here, impportant VOlcano photofrom "Hawaii Air tours".





As the lava enters the ocean, huge clouds of hydrogen sulfide gas are created. The water causes the lava to explode, forming the fine black sand of our beautiful beaches.
Above Pu'u O'o vent with it's bubbling pool of lava. The black crust within the vent walls covers an underground lake of magma 600' deep. Lava is called magma when it is below the surface.
Pu'u O'o vent during a cycle of increased activity. Everyday is different, even the pilots don't know what to expect.

Pu'u O'o is on the backbone of Kilauea volcano, home of Madame Pele, goddess of fire.

Long story short is sometimes I have to say sorry to the world, for leting its words come out soooooooo so wrong.

This is a pretty good way to say sory to the world ok. Last night at Tiki Drive-In Temple. In front of Tall Tall Gold Serious Ballooon Gods guarding White! Hot! Rock! Beneath of the only four starrs that had the stufff to show up on the sky. But , worsssst of all, in front of a kid. I commited a wordcrime. aginst...hm, myselff!

Okay, world. The worldcrime was, I sed that "I ahve no (music) talent."

You wuld think that is no reason to say asorry to the world. So would I. But how elese to get rid of sound in head.

I thnk it is this. Now. I probably mite not have no tlent, dont matter is not even my thing. (Drive race cars, IS ALL!!!). But How rude to you world like i have knowldge more than you. I mean World cn say someone has no talent but a stupid human about a stpid human, just, no. Sory Ihave said it about other people too (cannot believe) and i justt got to stop!

World I dont knwo nothing and i invite you to callme talentless. Any comunicasion from you would be an honor. But to say it as a human, well realy embarased and sory.

I hope you can understand the mesage under this messed up mesage and not think me to conceted. I am sory I didn't notice how wrong this was until i have done it to mself.

i belive in leting the starss inside you at nite, even nif they think your corny. i belive in a trunmpet swann lglides through when somethings true.i velieve something can be true. i believe in a poetrey hole, that it only goes insideout,,
and that is your direcction too. i believ in you.

the dale earheart junior mug is 9.99 at abertsons and no pronlem! it is red white and black, and very 8. it has pronlems to be a cup, you can see in dales face. it wants ot be bad grease air pooped by a hotrod. "state of california proposition 65" sticker on the bottom due to chemicals that can cause cancer or reproductiv fhharm. thd voice inside me says Every Cup Allways gonna have chemicles. but dale earheart junior has a sticker for sure you cant have no peace drinking from this cup. dale is bad ass!

you must be very careful to go so fast. i pray my ears and my heart to be melteddown into just one very strong careful thing, like dale, by the heat and speed i run inside to you.

Thi s morning there is a green american footb alls player growning out of my ground. His arems are in the Sign oftouch down!

one wasnt enough. two was not ennough. please you crash me. i need your crashage you have